


Return to Ithaca

by Babukoan



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gen, Sam/Five if you squint, Zombies Write II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 16:12:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babukoan/pseuds/Babukoan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set immediately after Mission 29: Athena.</p><p>Runner Five returns from one hell of an odyssey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mission Completed

**Author's Note:**

> Written for soodonim.tumblr.com for Zombies, Write II.

“Raise the gates!” Sam called, as energetic as ever. Runner Five smiled in spite of the exhaustion radiating from worn muscles. Almost home now. One final sprint and the vials would be safe in the lab's refrigerators.

“Whoa there, Five. A bit eager, are we?” Runner Three laughed, working to keep up. “You know, I've had a hard day too. Is this final dash-” A cold glare from his fellow runner shut him up quickly. 

The comforting sounds of the alarms blaring and the metallic creaking of the gate signaled an end to Five's nightmarish odyssey. “Five!” Maxine hollered, pushing her way through the small throng of citizens gathered for the runners' return. “The vials. Paula's notes,” she huffed, out of breath from her own mad dash to the gates. 

Several others clambered for Five's attention – Ed, Jodie, Jack, even the ever aloof Janine. All the runner could really focus on between heaving breaths and the sudden urge to vomit was the doctor's face. She had that same look in her eyes that she had in the woods when she was throwing knives at Van Ark. Steadfast determination was written in every laugh line and between each freckle. Five could not be sure until just then, until Maxine was standing before tired eyes, that the woman had indeed escaped their ordeal unscathed. What was supposed to be a simple exploratory run – a simple investigation – turned into...

With some effort those thoughts were banished. Maxine was here, her mind already on the scientific conundrum before her. It was startling to realize there wasn't anything she could ask for that Five would deny. Hell, if she needed someone to run out for some fancy microscope or hit up a medical library for texts again (And hadn't that been fun the first time – who would have thought zombie med students would be that persistent?) the battle-weary runner would have volunteered. Perhaps it was because the Doc had given Five a place at Abel; maybe because she gave Five a new purpose, training the runner in spite of her more pressing obligations as camp physician; or because Maxine had saved Five almost as much as Sam and dumb luck had. 

All of this was why the runner pulled the vials carefully out of the beat-up canvas bag, but neglected to hand over the notes just yet. “Get them to the fridge. Only about ten minutes or so left and its so hot out...”

“Oh, Five, thank you!” She clutched the vials close. “I can't even begin to tell you what this means for all of us.”

The poor runner had to lean forward, hands white knuckled as they clutched scrapped up knees. “Go. I'll bring the notes by in a bit.” 

Maxine's smile was brilliant. “Get to the hospital. I'll pick up the notes from you after I get these somewhere safe. I need to start working as soon as possible.” 

“I can do that for you,” Simon offered, resting an arm on the already withering runner's shoulder.

“I think Five could use a hand getting across to the hospital if anything,” she countered, frowning at the near-collapsing runner. 

Dropping the pack to the ground, Five bent down swiftly, knocking Si off-balance. “I can manage and you're right. The sooner you get started, the better.” After some rummaging, a pile of wrinkled papers sticking out of a worn leather notebook was produced. “It's everything she gave me.” In a flash, the doctor disappeared down the path to her lab. 

Simon stumbled and jovially tapped Five on the shoulder. “Good on you, then. Let me get this gun back to the armory and I'll help you over.” 

“If we wanted Five helped off a cliff,” Jack piped up, “That would be great.”

“Hey!” Si griped. 

“Well you did shoot repeatedly...” Ed added, setting Molly down. 

“I see a bedraggled human form, shambling over the hill towards our gates...” 

The precocious head of blond curls toddled over with a giggle. “Fi,” she cooed, dirt-stained hands reaching for a sweat and tear-stained face. “Fi! Play now,” Molly insisted. Ever the little light of Abel, she brought a smile to the exhausted runner's face and ceased the budding argument erupting above their heads. 

“Perhaps later, love,” Five grinned, pulling the child close for a proper hug, “but a shower is in store. Perhaps hot if I can get Rajit my notes on his novel's latest chapters.” Molly twisted around in the embrace, half crawling into the pack to see if her favorite runner brought her a special treat. Laughter broke out at her antics.

“After you are cleared by medical, Runner,” Janine intoned. “Protocols are put in place for a purpose.” Her stance and voice were as cold as usual. It made whatever light that shone forth from Molly's sweetness fade. For a moment they could forget the world was all grey and hardship. But she was right. A medical exam after an extended or pear-shaped mission was SOP after the old Runner Fifteen came in from a train-wreck of a supply run with a bite she failed to mention. 

“Oh!” Molly shrieked, finding something. “Pretty!” She struggled to free herself from the canvas, but popped out triumphantly, a sports bra on her head and a jewel-toned CD case in her hands. 

Five snatched it quickly, returning the disc to the pocket it had been in. “Yes, but this you'll like better.” The resulting shriek deafened all those around as the girl held her new prize close. The small, but glittering rock was a lucky find and – as far as Five was concerned – one of the few good things she pulled out of Van Ark's compound. 

“Another for the collection?” Ed chuckled, ruefully. “I'm running out of space for your rocks, little love.” 

Molly looked up at him with bright eyes and a dazzling smile. “Fi gave me a pretty, Daddy.” she cooed before kissing the runner's cheek in gratitude. 

“You're welcome,” Five grinned up at Ed. “It's not like any of us can say no to her and since she can't go hunting for pretties herself...” Janine shifted and Five sighed. “I can't say no to you either. Alright, off to medical for me.” One last hug and the girl was passed off to her father. Shouldering the canvas, standing up on shaky legs, Runner Five limped down the well-worn path to the hospital. 

Simon shook his head. “Surrounded by all that mess and still collecting supplies and doodads.” 

Jodie smiled, “It's what we runners do and Five is one of the best.” 

“Doesn't seem too fazed,” Ed muttered, cradling the bouncing toddler close. 

“Good runners never do,” Janine concluded, excusing herself with a nod. “Carry on and don't forget to report to the armory to have your recently-fired weapon serviced, Mr. Lauchlan.” If her gaze softened when it fell on Simon, no one wisely said a word. 

 

“I just don't see why I have to come sort this out,” Sam complained into the smoke-tainted air around him. “Eugene and Jack almost blow the shack to kingdom come and give themselves one heck of a shock. So they get a nice rest in hospital and I get to miss the Runners Feast to get us back online.”

“Maybe this will help,” a voice called from outside the comm shack. 

Sam opened the door to see Five, a pack on shoulder and a heaping plate of a fine feast in hand. “Don't laugh,” the radioman warned. Cables wrapped around his shoulder and chest; grease and soot caked on his face; the man looked like a technological Rambo. 

“Of course not,” Five said, failing to conceal a grin and pushing past Sam. “You look like you could use a break.” 

Sam took the plate. The semi-palatable offering did very little to improve his sour mood. “Do you see what the DJ Romeos have done to my shack?” he huffed, irritably. 

Five nodded. The control desk was a burnt out mess of smoldering wires and clutter. “I brought a few supplies from the farmhouse that might help.” 

It was like a switch was flipped. Sam grinned and kissed Five's cheek. “You are my bloody hero!” he exclaimed, taking the proffered pack and leaving a blushing runner in his wake. A few bites of mashed potatoes and he enthusiastically launched himself back into work. Five fell silent as Sam chattered happily about the new supplies. “When did we get these? Oh it must have been when you went off with that reporter. Remember him? What a gobshite! And that alleyway? Damn was that one rough. Who dictates their last words like that anyway? Wanker!” He shook his head as he barreled along. “Not good old Five! Best mate!” he exclaimed, taking another bite of potatoes. “Brings me fresh spuds, great supplies – and a stone cold hero in the field. A warrior bravely facing danger at every turn.” 

He looked up and his grin faltered. “Five?” The runner in question paled. Although showered and bandaged, Five looked rougher than upon arrival back at Abel. 

“I'm not, Sam” was the barely audible response. Tears were bravely held back as trembling hands clutched the jewel-toned CD case. “I knew Maxine was lying to you when I left camp with her. I knew she was up to something. She brought along bolt cutters for God's sake and I still didn't stop her. She almost got- got infected by Van Ark and captured because of me!” 

Sam took a cautious step closer, trying to head this off before the apparent breakdown could really gather speed. “Now, wait a minute -” 

“No!” Five jabbed a finger at him. “I sliced a man's throat open in cold blood because he would have hurt her and-and she and you and Sarah and Ed and Molly and Jack and -” A half sob broke through the runner's crumbling facade. “And then that bastard – that monster tied me to his jeep, dragged me through fucking hell! He- he was going to do things to me, unspeakable things!” The hand extended towards Sam shook. 

The runner heaved a few ragged breaths before the words could continue to flow. “And then Paula saved me from all of that. Sure it was just so her notes and vials and this could get back to Max.” Five brandished the disc. “But it was still bloody nice not to be left for – and then I still had to run home with one-eyed zombs, cannibals, and fucking Lem!” 

Lashing out now, Five kicked over a precarious tower of boxes. “That zombie – that zombie gave more of a damn about me. He saved me, not because of what I could bring him or do for him. That crazy, half-rotten bastard saved me... again.” Tears flowed freely now as Five's legs finally gave out. After what had to been over a 20 kilometer run through hell on a day off, there wasn't any strength left. 

Sam swore softly, momentarily frozen by the unexpected tirade. Then indignant anger flashed in his eyes. “Now wait just a damn minute! Are you saying all we cared about – Maxine, myself, Janine -” 

Five gave him a look. 

“Alright, maybe not Janine, but stop being so thick. You are one of my runners. I wasn't going to leave you to that psycho! Neither was the Doc. She would've gone herself if Paula hadn't stopped her! So don't you dare say that!”

His ire deflated as quickly as it had arisen. The radioman suddenly looked five years older. “Fuck, I thought we had lost all of you so many times today.” He kicked an overturned box to the other side of the room and lowered himself onto the dusty, cobweb- riddled floor. “God, someone should clean in here,” he chuckled hoarsely, trying to wipe the grime from his hands onto his trousers. 

Five stared at him a moment. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Sam was just a kid – hardly twenty-three when this mess started. The runner reached out and gave his shoulder a soft squeeze. “Sorry, mate. It's sure been a shit day, hasn't it?” 

Sam just nodded. His eyes lingered on the bandages around Five's wrists. How he wanted Van Ark to pay for those scars left on his runner, on his doctor, even on Paula. Because that too hurt Maxine. “Yeah. Good to let stuff like that out, right?” He rubbed his neck awkwardly. “So the disc?” 

A change in topic, however slight, was due. The air was thick with too much raw emotion, too many close, personal things almost shouted out into the open. Five's hand dropped slowly from Sam's shoulder. “It was with the things Paula gave me. It says, 'For Dr. Maxine Myers. Listen only in the event of the death of Dr. Paula Cohen.'”

Five paused and tried to gage Sam's reaction. “If I gave it to her now, she would listen to it, which isn't what Paula wants...” Clearly those were the right words because any argument died on Sam's lips. “I thought you could keep it in here, in case – next time – I don't make it back home.” 

“Now, wait – stop that. You're Runner Five. You're the best. You'll always come back,” he protested, taking Five's hand in his. “But this is a good place to keep things like that...”

The bruised, battered runner let out a sigh of relief. “Good, because here is the next part. This you aren't going to like.” Five made sure to hold Sam's eye. “I want to listen to it.”

“No! That-that's the Doc's and its private.”

“I know and I can explain. Look, you and Max are the only reason I'm still alive. I would never do something to hurt her like this, but Paula said there was a lot about Van Ark that Max didn't know. That we don't know. What if there is some hint or tidbit of information in there we could use?”

“Paula would have said,” Sam argued, uncertainty flickering in his mind. 

“There wasn't time. It's what the Major or Janine would do if they knew about this.” Five held up a hand. “I don't want to tell them any more than you do, which is why I want to be the one to listen to it. Just once. Just to be sure. Then we can hide it away in case the worse happens.” 

“The Doc will never have to hear it...” 

“Because we can get Paula back. Even helping me as she did, Sam, he won't kill her. She knew that going back.” 

Silence descended on the shack. If you strained your ears, you could hear the joyous sounds of the Runner's Feast in the distance. Everyone was celebrating another day survived with friends – turned family – all safely home again. Except for Maxine, who was slaving away in the lab. She would work non-stop to fix the formula – to stop the zombies and save the children. Because it was the right thing to do. And, as Sam and Five knew, to distract herself from the pain of losing Paula again. The disc – seeing it, hearing it – would only hurt her, make her assume the worst, and break her down. 

“Just once,” he whispered. “Both of us and then we never tell another soul.”

Five handed it over as Sam hastily set up the CD player. “Just once.” 

“I hope there is something on here worth this,” he muttered half to himself as he pressed play.


	2. Track One

“My dearest Maxi, my last recording for you was so dire. I'm making this one in hope that it will end better, and if not, in the hope that you will know how my story ends. Oh God, I don't even know where to begin.

“I suppose it will be some comfort to hear that you were right about Professor Van Ark. Remember that god-awful Christmas Party? You observed that he strutted about like a Bond villain. He was always all smiles and manners with something dark underneath. That's what you said. I thought you were being fanciful, trying to find some excitement in my drab workplace. I know you found my research lab, while cutting edge, boring compared to the bustle of your intensive care unit... 

“I wish you were wrong, but he has an army. An army! His helicopter got us out of the university. Those of us left – Hammil, Pettigrew, and Saltiel didn't make it. Those fences were no match for the shambling hoard. It's just Doctor Adams and I now. We're still working on a cure. 

“It's just all so strange. If we're still working on a cure, why did he have them burn their notes before our miraculous rescue? And all these- these hired soldiers. It's like they aren't protecting us so much as keeping us under his thumb.”


	3. Track Two

“I don't think there is a cure. I don't think we can fix what we've done. We've doomed us all with our hubris. Who were we to try to cheat death? We deserve this. We just – God Maxi, it was awful. Adams is gone and now Van Ark is infected. I pray you didn't use the formula I left. W-what if that happened to you?

“Sweetheart, it makes them faster, more vicious. That creature ripped her face off. We were in the lab. It's sparse, but we had a couple of subjects on our tables. The shambler Sabrena was working with just- just reanimated. At first we thought it was working, but all our serum did was make it stronger. It lunged forward and, oh God, just latched onto Sabrena's face...” 

The sound of her wracking sobs faded out as the track ended.


	4. Track Three

“I wish I were brave like you, Maxi. If you were here...but I would never wish this on you. Oh God, how I miss you. Sometimes when I wake in the morning, I keep my eyes closed and pretend we're back in our first little flat together. You used to slip in from working all night on the unit and let Pongo out as quietly as possible. You'd hum softly as you put the coffee on and fried eggs. Always fried eggs with ketchup, you bloody American you.” She laughed through tears. “I never had the heart to tell you that you would wake me up every single morning when you were trying to sneak about so quietly. But I secretly loved waking up like that and now I pretend – just for a few minutes – that I can hear your delightful singing and smell those unpalatable eggs you always half-burned...

“I'm still trying to find a cure. We've made progress. Plasmaphoresis seems to at least have bought us some time. Van Ark is still with us as long as I can treat him every other day. It's not an ideal solution, but for now...

“It's just that things have changed so much. Van Ark wants to focus on our original research. He believes the only hope for humanity is if he can complete his immortality serum. He can be so persuasive with elegant words and kind smiles, but there is always something lurking in his eyes that gives me pause. There's no one else to help him, but I don't know anymore. We're experimenting on more than just zombies. We've run out of them, as hard as that is to believe. Now, he's gone to making them. I-I don't think I can do this. The ends could never justify these means. 

“I know you're out there, sweetheart. My brave, brave Maxi. You left your family and everything you've ever known to come across the pond with me. You went through licensing and residency again so you could continue to heal people over here. You could have gotten a job for Pandora Hayes easily with so much less hassle and hardship. They wanted your brilliance. I have never been so glad that you turned them down. This place is evil and you are too sweet for these horrors. I have never been more grateful for your crazy schedule and how we'd spend weeks working opposite hours of the day. All that sacrifice then saved you now. I know you are out there somewhere doing what you've always done – laughing, helping people, and finding a way to make what is left of this world better. 

“You know what, Maxi? I'm going to find you. We'll make it better together and leave Van Ark to his mad scientist act.”

“I'm so sorry to hear you say that, Paula.” Van Ark's voice caused Sam and Five to jump almost as much as Paula must have. Her gentle, lilting voice had lulled her listeners into a much needed state of relaxation. 

“P-professor...”

“You really think I didn't know about your audio diary? Come, come, my dear. James Bond you are not,” he sneered. His voice got louder. It felt as though he were advancing on the rapt audience, not just poor Paula. 

“I-i,” she stammered. 

“I can't let you leave, Paula.”

“I can teach your men how to run the plasmaphoresis equipment. I wasn't going to leave you to-”

“I can't let all of our good work go to waste. All those months of work and we've never been closer,” he continued on, heedless of her protests. He had to be standing right next to her. “I wish you hadn't gotten such silly ideas in your head. We are saving the human race.” 

“No. We are immortalizing your vanity and vanquishing your own fear of death,” she spat. 

“Yes, but it is your fear as well my dear. It is a fear all humans share. I've seen it in your eyes when our subjects expire and reanimate on your lab table. Which is why I think you might need more of a reminder of what we're fighting for -” 

“What-what is that? What are you doing?” Her panic was palpable. 

“Hold her still, gentlemen,” Van Ark ordered before he returned his focus on Paula. “I am doing what is best for you.” 

“No. No! Don't inject me with that! Please, no!”


	5. Track Four

“I haven't done this in a while.” Paula's voice was so different from the last track. All light and hope were gone. A broken rasp and heartbreak took their place. 

“Do you remember that morning I found you sitting on the floor of the kitchen? You hadn't changed from your scrubs and were sipping straight from my favorite bottle of moscoto. No eggs. No coffee. Just you cuddling that bottle and poor Pongo. That dalmatian looked as miserable as you and as confused as I. You wouldn't look at me. You only stared at the floor. Do you remember what you said when you finally spoke? 

“'I fucked up, Paul. They tried to tell me. The nurse kept calling. She said the patient was more irritable. She said he wouldn't settle. They had just turned off his sedation drips. He was withdrawing. I told her to give a prn. She had given him all she could and he was still acting off. She said something was wrong. She knew him and he didn't act like this. I just wouldn't listen.'

“I had never seen you drink so much so fast. I had never seen such anguish grace your features. I empathized. I just didn't understand. He had had a brain hemorrhage. No one caught it until it was too late. A life was snuffed out because of your inaction. If you had only ordered a CT scan, he may have been saved. He could have gone to emergency surgery. 

“But you know what I didn't tell you then? What thought bounced around in my head as I held you close; as I ran my fingers through your hair and kissed along salty tear tracks on soft cheeks? He was already unstable. He probably would've died on the table before the neurosurgeon could make his first incision. It wasn't your fault, sweetheart. You are not responsible for that.”

There was such a long pause that Sam's finger twitched on the skip button, ready to move on and hear more. 

“I think I finally understand how you felt, darling. So many have died from my inaction. So many have suffered.” Paula had started to cry. The words fell from her mouth one broken syllable at a time. “I am a coward. I am not a good person. I-I really am just as bad as he is. Oh God, Maxi. I'm afraid I've doomed the human race after all my work with this monster. What he's become. 

“What have I become? 

“Well, I now know for certain that you are out there. You are with them. You are safe at Abel, fighting for the good of humanity as I always hoped you were. I can't do this anymore. I just can't---"


	6. Ithaca Awaits

The audio stopped abruptly, jerking Five out of a reverie. Sam sat there with his finger on the pause button. “She -” his voice was hoarse with emotion. It had been too long of a day. Maxi was almost kidnapped. Five was almost tortured to zombification in Frankenstein's lab. Now this. It was too much. 

“You don't have to keep listening, but I am going to -”

“Is this her note,” he demanded, leveling his runner with the sternest look to have darkened his features since they had met. 

“I-” Five struggled on numb and tired limbs to reach where Sam had moved when he had started the disc. “I don't think so. She had fight in her when I left. There is a fire there. We –” There was a pause as thoughts gathered. “We need to hear her out.” The look shared said so much more than they would ever say aloud. 

The apocalypse changed the rules. You just don't get attached to people who will mostly likely try to chew your face off tomorrow or next week. You sure as hell don't tell them you are attached. Family, home: these things died on Day Zero. They shouldn't be made up of a burnt out farmhouse and a ragtag group of people who never would have met otherwise. 

But they were. 

Sam pressed the button. 

“-can't go on like this. I'm going to try -to try to be as brave as I know you are, Maxi. My sweet, brilliant star. I am going to find a way to help. I am making a choice – the right one. I will find a way to stop him and if I can't at least you will know --” A sob broke through. “You'll know that I'm not a villain too. You'll be proud of me. Maybe as proud as I am of you, if that isn't too much to wish for.” Her tears and sniffles were audible, as she pushed past her pain to finish. “I love you so much, sweetheart. So so much. Please – I hope you still love me. I-I will be someone worthy of that. I swear I will.

“And- And I am sorry about Archie. I should have tried harder. I just hope I can tell her one day what kind of choice I made.”

The disc stopped, the sudden silence weighing heavily on the comm shack. The revelries across the township had begun to die down. Tired runners would be stumbling sated to their dorms, readying themselves for the challenges the morning would bring. The townspeople followed along. The new day would bring hurdles of a different kind for them. The rigors of the day-to-day, of rebuilding the township were waiting. The two souls in the shack were frozen. Their own individual thoughts consumed them. 

Time stood still until a knock of the door and a friendly voice shattered the silence around them. “Hey Sam? Five? Are you in there?” 

In a mad flurry of rather clumsy motion, Sam retrieved the disc and hid it under some papers. “Uh-uh, yeah, Doc. Come on in.” 

Maxine looked worn in her own right. “There you both are,” she smiled softly. “I'm told we all missed one hell of a feast...”

“Yeah, well tell that to the Radio Boyfriends.” Sam motioned wildly to the disaster area around them. 

“I don't really see the difference,” she replied with a wicked glint belying an otherwise serious expression. 

“It's more the smell,” Five pointed out helpfully. 

“No, I think that is as bad as always.” The effect of the collusion was instantaneous. Sam sputtered and moaned and fumed; excitedly pointing out all the damage inflicted upon his beloved workspace. Settling herself on the floor next to Five, Maxine grinned at his eccentric tantrum. “I read Nurse Harper's report,” she murmured without tearing her eyes from Sam. “Pretty sparse. How are you?”

“I'm fine. Tired, sore, but I'm fine,” came the soft reply. 

Without another word, she took the runner's bandaged wrists and began to assess the damage from the day. Before long she was throwing out quips at Sam, riling him up whenever he seemed to settle down. The poor lad was soon smiling in spite of himself. Five slowly relaxed once more under the caring touch. It was an apology for everything: the worry, the danger, the pain; an apology for what happened and all the terrible things that could have. As the small shack filled with the warmth of laughter and camaraderie, Maxine knew forgiveness was granted. An apology wasn't even necessary. 

Sam made sure to catch Five's eye as he slipped the disc away into a cubby hole. They silently vowed to one another that they would get Paula back. 

“And then that crazy dog tries to run,” Maxi sniggered. “Pongo had never seen polished terrazzo and he- he just couldn't. He was running in place and he couldn't figure out why.”

Paula was a part of their little family too and while home was their only oasis in this grey wasteland, it was incomplete without her.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was prompted to write about Maxi and Paula during Maxi's residency or about Paula and Van Ark or about the scuttlebutt that pops up about Lem. I used little bits of all of these throughout the story. I would really love to do a follow-up story to go into more detail about Lem's reappearance and the impact that had. I had had a lot of unresolved feelings after I finished Athena and I think some of that came out. Really, this story took on a life of its own once I started. I hope it was a good end to the odyssey and an enjoyable read. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. Comments, suggestions, and feedback always appreciated.


End file.
